Tips to overcome jealousy with a Christian perspective
I want to dive into jealousy. It is ugly. It damages individuals. Friendships. Workplace environments. Families. Souls.
Why is it such a plague? FOMO surely attributes to it. We are all afraid there is something better. And that “she” has it. Or that family. Or that business. And maybe they do.
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I have been reflecting on this a lot lately. At first I thought, the reason this plagues me so much is because it is not something I struggle with. Well, if that ain’t a lie whispered straight into my ears from satan, I do not know what is. Of course I struggle with it! Do I manage to check myself often and remember that there is enough for everyone? Yes. However, I still struggle. I wanted to share some things today that help my heart to grasp the greatness of God’s plan for me. These things remind my feeble heart that I have no need to despair because my life is “missing” something! I am in a race to Heaven, not the top of the theoretical success ladder.
Trying to be the best version of myself as I strive for Sainthood includes rejoicing for my brothers and sisters! If you are not doing that always, you are missing out! And when I fail, I remind myself of these concrete truths and Jesus whispers His love and guidance 100% of the time, allowing me to overflow with love and excitement for others.
Trying to be the best version of myself as I strive for Sainthood includes rejoicing for my brothers and sisters! If you are not doing that always, you are missing out! And when I fail, I remind myself of these concrete truths and Jesus whispers His love and guidance 100% of the time, allowing me to overflow with love and excitement for others.
Success Is Subjective
No, it truly is! You have heard it before, I know. Let’s think about it, though. I am sure you know people that want to be famous, millionaires, or both. That seems to be what many deem as success. Upon further reflection, I can think of so many people that are at peace as teachers, Fathers, Clergy, Mothers, first responders, the list goes on. They have hit their life goals and consider it a success. And you know what? IT IS! That is not to say it is without its difficulties, but what isn’t?
There Is Enough
Oh goodness, this is so true. This one thing can change your whole view of jealous emotion! There. Is. Enough. There is enough beauty, fame, fortune, friendship, victories, love, and life. Simple as that, folks. There is Enough. I know you are sick of reading it, but it is the crux of how you beat the jealousy bug! Next time you feel it creep in, ask what exactly is sparking it? Can it be recreated or is there more of that thing/feeling/accomplishment? No, it may not be the exact same, but there is more in 99.9% of cases. And that leads me to my next point…
Jesus Has A Plan For You
While there is enough of so many good things, it is easy to get caught up in the timeline. Why did it happen to them now and not me? Why are my prayers not answered? I get it, guys. I have had many prayers that felt unanswered. Situations that felt hopeless. Goals that felt unachievable. I have also lived through a lot of those things, just like you. At this point, I know, beyond any inkling of doubt, that God perseveres through all that with me. He truly has a better plan. One for my happiness. One that will truly fulfill me and my deepest, often unspoken, longings. Stuff I did not even know that I needed to thrive!
Turning to Scripture
I wanted to share one of my favorite Scriptures with you. It is God speaking to Jeremiah, calling him to be a Prophet, carrying God’s message, and it is clear by what God says that Jeremiah felt like he was not good enough for the plan God had for him. He felt he was not enough, lacking in different things for this boisterous call. The reality was probably that he was scared and uncertain. And for good reason, I do not blame the guy! The message he would go on to carry was heavy. Nevertheless, God speaks him. He echoes those words to you and I. He did not articulate all of the nitty gritty details of His plan for Jeremiah, but instead, expressed the intent behind the plans. That is where we find our hope, security, and joy, friends. In a God that wants to create a plan for little ol’ me that parallels the words in this passage…
“The word of the LORD came to me:
Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I dedicated you,
a prophet to the nations I appointed you.
“Ah, Lord GOD!” I said,
“I do not know how to speak. I am too young!”
But the LORD answered me,
Do not say, “I am too young.”
To whomever I send you, you shall go;
whatever I command you, you shall speak.
Do not be afraid of them,
for I am with you to deliver you—oracle of the LORD.
Then the LORD extended his hand and touched my mouth, saying to me,
See, I place my words in your mouth!
Today I appoint you
over nations and over kingdoms,
To uproot and to tear down,
to destroy and to demolish,
to build and to plant.”Jeremiah 1: 4-10 (excerpt from USCCB, click here to read more)
Breaking It Down
A few practical tips that we need to walk away from this Scripture can be found in the second half. Knowing we were made in the womb by God is probably not a new concept, however true and meaningful it may be. It is easy to let that second half slip by, but I believe there is so much to unpack.
When God says, “I place my words in your mouth,” it is like when we allow the Holy Spirit to speak through us! Next time you feel the pangs of jealousy, ask God to send the Spirit to your lips. To touch them into silence or into prayer. Come, Holy Spirit. Those three words with heart can immediately change your perspective.
The very last bit is so powerful, too. Do you find yourself struggling with the same emotions in similar circumstances over and over? Or perhaps with the same individual? Maybe it is time to uproot. To destroy and demolish. Ask God to reveal what change needs to happen then do it. Do not delay. The Scripture does not say think it to death and maybe make a half-hearted change. It says to tear. down. Trust that the Spirit is present and ask for peace when He reveals the right course of action.
Remember the very last line, too. We are not always asked to do the icky destruction work. We are also asked to plant! To build! Both things can still be challenging. It often requires developing new skills or habits, like watering plants regularly to establish them or learning how to use a saw. Friendships are the same way. When we eliminate/reduce friendships that are unhealthy, we often have to learn and practice new behaviors to get the results we want. Are your friends prayerful? You may need to learn how to get comfortable with offering, accepting, and actually following through with prayer. Check out this article on authentic friendship for more.
Here are some of my favorite books to read, if jealousy is a struggle for you right now. Click on the title to check it out.
Do you struggle with jealousy? What are some ways you have been able to overcome? Please leave a comment and share! There is so much wisdom in our collective hearts. Or drop a comment with any questions you may have. Thank you for reading, friends.
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