This is my experience.
I will preface it with a few things. First, this experience is mine alone. I am sharing it to help encourage you on whatever path God is calling you to, that is it. I hope it serves your heart in some small way. Secondly, there are some affiliate links to some things I truly adored and utilized. I would never share anything that I did not simple love. Third, if you have any questions or want to share your own points or perspective, I would love to hear from you in the comments below!
Now, onto the countdown…
10. I am a badass. Seriously. Total, complete badass. Excuse the language, but sometimes, ya just gotta call a spade a spade.
9. If I want to learn something, I can. Sometimes, I place boundaries on what tricks this old dog can learn. Especially as a SAHM, I occasionally feel like I cannot possibly learn anything beyond booger wiping, diaper changing, and kindergarten sight word recognition. NEWSFLASH: I can. Not only can I learn how to effectively prepare my mind and body for natural childbirth, I can actually use the tools to deliver. Pun absolutely intended. I can set a goal to navigate a new way of thinking and behaving and actually implement them, even if it is just one thought or exercise at a time.
8. Birth is so different. Every. Single. Time. Baby 1, my motto was, “all the drugs.” Baby 2, my motto was, “Crunchie-Mom-Wannabe with some drugs and interventions.” Baby 3, my motto was, “here is my hep-lock and my birth plan and if you even offer me drugs of any kind, my hormonal glance will probably make you spontaneously combust.” God bless the beautiful nurses that loved me through each one. And I know it will be different if the Lord sees fit to bless our family with a fourth heart to care for. We often hear that every woman is different. But, I would argue that not only is each woman unique, but so is the way each little life is brought into this world. Even if you go au natural or epidural all the way with each of your children, I would bet big money that you have a completely unique story for each birth, too.
7. Less is more. Less people, less interventions, less expectations. These are good things. What I read to prepare, what I listened to, and what I exposed my heart to, must be monitored. I read a lot, do not get me wrong, but, I picked a few things and wildly adhered to them. I listened to this meditation all the time, read Husband Coached Childbirth by Dr. Robert Bradley multiple times, and read Supernatural Childbirth by Jackie Mize. I was faithful to a few select exercises and for the first time, did not allow myself to be overwhelmed or disappointed because I did not cheerfully complete my pre-natal yoga DVD workout each day during my pregnancy. I did get my oldest to school every day, everyone had food to eat, the house was clean…ish, and the kids still smiled daily. I am going to call that, mixed with some kagels and cat curls, a big, fat W-I-N!
5. I am a wierdo. Well, I guess I knew this before, but it was abundantly clear during my delivery that I was breaking the status quo. Because of my experience with baby 2, I knew that delivering naturally at a hospital would present some peculiar challenges and difficulties. I also knew that is what I felt like God was calling my heart and this pregnancy to, so let it be done accordingly to Your Will, right? I went into this knowing that my choices were not what many opted for, but I had a sincere desire to do my best to see it through. In retrospect, every crazy look or comment I got for going against the grain was worth it. I experienced so much during labor and delivery, I was able to connect and rely with my husband in a truly unprecedented and unique way, it revealed a new type of strength in myself that I had not seen before, and I still had the help and support I needed when I hemorrhaged after my sweet boy was born. It was the best scenario for me. I am grateful I decided to be weird. It was not the first time and it certainly will not be the last, but it was certainly new in this context.
4. I get it, I get it. Things do not always go according to plan. I have lived it. However, I learned that while my heart’s posture needs to be apt and ready to adjust to unforeseen changes, I have a responsibility to prepare and plan as much as I can. Baby 2, I wanted so sincerely to give birth naturally. But, I did not prepare. I was able to go without an epidural, but if you heard the whole story, you would know it was simply by the grace of God that was possible. With Baby 3, I was prepared. My mind and body were in unison. I knew that it might not go the way I wanted it to and that was okay. I really meant that. But, it won’t be because I did not do my homework. Be prepared to watch your curated birth plan fall to pieces because of an emergency. But, also be prepared to watch your goals and hard work come to pass. All I know, is that after Baby 3, I learned that my birth plan definitely will not work if I do not at least try to create one. The worst that can happen is that nothing goes as I hoped it would. The best is that I bring this baby into the world the way I felt my body and mind needed me to.
3. My husband is my rock. Right after Jesus, he is my main support. Although we are, of course, far from perfect, during this pregnancy and delivery, I learned how much I truly need him. In the past, I did not instruct him on how to support me. I expected him to just “get it.” I mean, birth is natural—he should just understand, like me. Oh right, I asked a zillion questions, read a bunch of blogs, books, and articles. Why do I think he will be my dream support without any coaching or counsel? I learned this go around that I may have been guilty of having unrealistic expectations of my sweet man. I learned that with a little instruction and patience, he will not only feel needed and valuable through this experience (something I have and take for granted because of the giant human protruding from my abdomen), but he will take an active role and relieve some of the physical and mental pressure I experience during this season and feel like he helped bring this child we created into the world.
2. My mind is a great tool. I have heard so many times over the years about the power of positive thinking. I will be honest: I do not know how much positivity there was in the midst of my late stage labor contractions. However, in between contractions, while I was resting, I felt it. I felt all the things I had reinforced in my heart in the months preceding these moments of intensity. All the moments I repeated that I can do this. The moments where I then realized I cannot do it alone. The moments I confessed my fear to God and invited Him into my body, mind, and spirit for the pregnancy, labor, and delivery—one at a time, intentionally and filled with specifics. I invited God into every part of me…every…single…part. He created them all, afterall! That being said, being specific to this degree was new and took some serious adjusting, but I felt God immensely in those moments of vulnerability. I felt the moments I told satan that he is not welcome. The moments I looked at what an amazing help my husband is and tucked it into my heart to recall when I was having trouble trusting. The moments when I dismissed the haters (most of which existed in the critical voices in my head) and replaced their words with these: Jesus is in me, Jesus is in this baby, Jesus will be in the hospital, Jesus will work through my nurses, Jesus will work through my doctor, Jesus will live through my husband, Jesus will reign over this experience no matter what happens. Even if every plan goes awry from what I anticipated, Jesus is there. He is in charge. He will control this even when I cannot. He will work and bless and move and behold glory I cannot imagine through this new life. He will create a new heart in me through this experience. He will cradle, comfort, and protect the new family I will inevitably have. Even if the worst case scenario comes to fruition, this life has lived within me and my heart and family are forever changed. Praise God. So much thanksgiving and praise.
1. I am a badass. So are you. Us women are chalked full of plain ol’ badassery. Yep, that is a word. Do not argue with me or I might bust out the hormonal glance that makes one combust. It is a real thing.
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