6 Christian Tips for Coping with Post-Partum Depression and Anxiety
After three babies, I have come to terms with the fact that post-partum depression is simply a part of my post-partum season. Knowing this, I have prepared myself for it increasingly with each child and wanted to share a few tips that work well for me.
In this post, I will refer to it as PPD and sometimes, PPDA, which stands for Post-Partum Depression & Anxiety. These are two separate diagnosis, but all these tips apply to both.
DISCLOSURE: This post contains affiliate links to products I love. At no additional cost to you, I receive a small commission when you purchase through my links. This helps support The Rooted Mom blog and my family. Thank you for your trust and kindness! I also want to reiterate that nothing contained in this article is intended to replace advice and support from your medical practitioner! Consult your doctor immediately if you think you may be struggling with PPDA.
1. Seek Out Help
This may sound repetitive and obvious, but it can be nerve-wracking. I had different PPDA issues with all three of my pregnancies, but I did not initially recognize the symptoms and seek help. The bottom line is that you are not abnormal and nothing is innately wrong with you! You are beautiful and perfect, every aspect of you has been formed with great attention. In the thick of things, that can feel like crazy talk, but it is so true, sister! [see Psalm 139 and Song of songs 4:7] When you are in the mud of PPDA, you feel more like a hot mess of hormone imbalances, sleep deprivation, and overwhelm—but hold tight, there will be better days. And do not be afraid to seek help outside of a traditional family practice doctor, if that works for you. Chiropractic care, counselors, functional medicine doctors, acupuncturists, massage therapists. All are excellent resources. Cast your net far and wide and find what works for you.
2. Get on your knees, girl!
I would have never made it through a single minute without my Jesus. He is my hope and my sustainer—my Best Friend. I urge you to meditate on His word often. Take courage and hope even when things seem bleak.
3. Tell satan to GET BEHIND YOU!
In Matthew 16:23, Jesus’ famous words to Peter come to life. We hear Jesus tell Peter to “get behind” Him, for he was thinking as man, not like God. God’s love for us just is not logical. Blessedly, logic and love need not go hand in hand, and Christ has a deep and abiding love for us which surpasses all understanding. Let the lies and temptations go. Demand in the Name of Jesus that they depart from your mind, your life, your actions, your marriage, your relationships, your home…your everything. “He said to them, “Because of your little faith. Amen, I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20
4. Accept Help
Especially with my first born, I had such a difficult time accepting help at practically any capacity. After the birth of each of my children, I slowly allowed my heart to be humbled and graciously accept the help I was offered. I was far from gracious at first.
If someone offers a meal, do not say, “Okay, thanks!” or “We don’t want to be a burden, you’re so busy!” or really anything at all except, “How about Monday?”….or Tuesday, or Friday, or whatever day works for you. If family is around and offering help, ask for particular things. If they offer to hold the baby while you get stuff done or take a nap, and that stresses you out, it is okay to say no. You just birthed a tiny pooping, crying, breathing, cooing, milk guzzling human being and you are wired to be near it. It lived inside of you for nine months, so it is only natural that you want this new life to remain near to you. That babe wants to be near you also; it is definitely not a one-way street. This is not to say that you cannot go take a nap! If it is someone you trust and you are zonked, GO FOR IT, GIRL!!!! Visit the back of your eyelids and recover. However, if someone offers to “hold the baby while you get things done,” feel free to say, “no, thank you. But, I could really use some help unloading the dishwasher or transferring the laundry, though, if you are offering help!”
Just say it simply; there is so much mercy and understanding to be had for a woman that just gave birth. Trust that people will understand and let go if they do not. I know how difficult that is, especially when it is someone close to you, but I can attest firsthand that it is totally freeing to say things with truth and simplicity. Looking a loved one in the eyes and admitting that you do not want to put the baby down, you would prefer help in other ways or voicing whatever your individual need may be…such power. It does not have to be rude: gently and honestly share the story of your heart in that moment and lean into the vulnerability. This was one thing that took three babies for me to learn, but I am so glad I did. And guess what? Nobody cared a bit! They were happy to help relieve any burden from me, big or small.
And the food…guys, the food. What is it about food that makes you feel so loved? I do not know, but it sure does. I guess that is why Jesus had the Last Supper. Food as one of your final hoorahs…it feels right to me, too.
5. Let Mercy In
Cut slack everywhere. You deserve it. Your spouse deserves it. Your kids, family, neighbors, friends…they need it, too. I am not saying to take whatever people dish your way. I am a massive believe in prayerful and intentional boundaries. However, this time may be difficult enough without beating yourself up because ohhh, let’s say your oldest kid has been late to school for essentially two weeks straight or that your two-and-a-half-year-old is nowhere near potty trained or that you have not done the dishes in three days or that the diaper genie is so full, you have started a small pile next to it because you will “get to it later” or that your coffee intake has tripled in a week or you have 87 unheard voicemails…not that I have any experience with things like that. Do better tomorrow, if you can. Keep loving. Keep trying. It will all be okay.
6. Simple Things Matter
Seriously. The little, small things matter so. much. The things that trigger PPDA symptoms vary greatly. You could be overwhelmed by people, things, or thoughts.
A couple of ideas:
Declutter
Even if it is just a drawer, organize and purge. It feels amazing. I know it may not make a dent, but if you do a drawer most days, think of how your cabinets will look in a month. There is serious connection between clutter and stress.
– Self-care: Paint your nails. Take a bath. Go for a walk. Sit on the porch with a glass of wine. Read. Pray. Workout. Listen to a really great song and sing or dance. Or both. It does not need to take forever, just do something small everyday. This daily devotional takes a millisecond to read and might be a great start to beginning to prioritize caring for yourself. This one and this one are good, too!
Limit Screen Time
This is a tough one, but every, single, gosh darn time I do it, I am glad for it. There may be a void for a while, so have a plan. I use podcasts as a means to encourage me to steer clear of the tv. I read. I try new hobbies. It does not matter what you choose to do, just do something else.
Go On A Date
I realize this is not always simple. However! Dates do not always have to fit into a “dinner and a movie” mold. If all you can handle is playing a game of cards and sharing a drink and dessert after you get your kid(s) into bed, that is great! Go for a walk together, comb Pinterest for an at home date night idea, or dance in the living room together. Invest in your relationship. Check out this post for a list of 10 inexpensive and simple date nights!
Time for a truth bomb: this will not be easy. You may do some of these things, heck, you may do them all, and not feel like anything is changing. If you are in that boat, remember that sometimes it takes repetitive action to provoke lasting change. Perseverance is a virtue, after all. Do not give up. Do not be afraid to try new ways of dealing. It will get better.
**One more time for those in the back row: if you have or think you may have post-partum depression or anxiety, please consult your doctor. These tips are intended as coping ideas, not cures or medical treatments of any kind and should not replace professional medical help.
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